Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Wifey’s Q and A
I hope you can really help. We are one-year old – hubby and I. We have a baby girl who is 4-months (she’s adorable but a handful) and lots of financial issues. We are all very stressed. Do tell me, how do I talk to my hubby when I feel so tired and not-helped, confused and alone? I know I need to help him feel loved and supported but what about me? How do I give when I also need support and love?
-Mrs. One Year and A Baby
Dear Mrs. One Year and a Baby:
Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on. A new marriage, a new baby and financial struggles – all of these things can be taxing on their own and extremely tiring when combined together. Congratulations on becoming a wife and mother. While these are two of the most wonderful roles in my life they also are often the most confusing, stressful, and exhausting. Please know that feeling stressed is completely normal and you are definitely not alone.
Kudos to you for realizing that marriage needs reciprocation. It is a two-way street and both of you need to feel loved and supported. Unfortunately, that is often easier said than done. I suggest starting within you first. Treat your husband the way you want to be treated. Showing him the love and support that you crave is not only healthy for your marriage, and the right thing to do, it’s putting out positive energy that will hopefully come back around to you. Secondly, share with him your needs and wants. Don’t demand or make him feel like he’s doing something wrong. That will only put him on the defensive, making things harder. Tell him specifically what you need from him and give him clear examples so he can understand. He’s not a mind reader and can’t help you if he doesn’t realize what’s going on. Remember, he’s stressed and confused, too.
The beginning of marriage and motherhood can often be the most challenging. Be patient with yourself, and your husband, as you both begin to figure things out.
Winks & Smiles,
How about you? Any “wives” words? Share your wisdom. New wives and mothers want to know …
The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.