Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wifey's Weekly Q and A
My husband and I have been planning our family since we got engaged. We agree on everything except whether I will stay home with our children and for how long. He’s very supportive and says ultimately the decision is mine, but he would like me to stay home. I just don’t know if I am stay-at-home mom material. I have a lot of respect for stay-at-home moms, but I’m not ready to walk away from my career yet. We’ve been married nine months and are planning to get pregnant around our first anniversary. I feel like I should figure this out before we start trying to get pregnant. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?
- Mrs. Stay-at-Home or Working Mom
Dear Mrs. Stay-at-Home or Working Mom:
Kudos to you both for being proactive and planning together one of the most important decisions of your marriage. It’s important to have conversations about children before you get married so that you both are on the same page – or are working toward it – and there are no surprises about how many kids you both would like and when you would like to have them. Planning is great and necessary, but you also need to understand that even the most well thought-out plans can change – especially when it comes to children.
Staying at home with your children or keeping your career in tact are both challenging and rewarding paths. You should make a tentative plan, but be open to the idea of changing your mind once your little bundle of joy is born. You might decide to stay home now, but find that you crave the working world after a year without the water cooler; or you might plan to return to your job three months after your baby is born but can’t bear to leave her once it’s time to go back. The truth is only you will know how you feel once you are actually in the situation. It’s wonderful that your husband is supportive and is not pressuring you into doing something that you’re not comfortable with doing. Talk to him and come up with Plan A and Plan B; then relax and enjoy the baby making!
Winks & Smiles,
How about you? When did you decide to work or stay home? Did you change your mind? Moms and moms-to-be want to know …
The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.