And That's How the Fight Started

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey’s House

A little mindless marriage humor

One of Husband’s male friends e-mailed this to him and in turn he forwarded it to me. Coincidentally, he sent it on a night that I was desperately trying to bite my tongue and not start a fight …

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED

One year a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year he didn't buy her a gift.When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started...

My wife walked into the den and asked "What’s on the TV?"I replied "Dust.”And that's how the fight started...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight's damn near perfect.”And that's how the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.” I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started...

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested, "the kitchen?”And that's how the fight started...

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then asked, “Is that your final answer?” She didn't even look at me this time, just simply said “Yes.”So I said, “Then I'd like to phone a friend.”And that's how the fight started...

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.” So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.”And that's how the fight started...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.” My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”And that's how the fight started...

I'm not sure who to credit these little gems to but they sure have a good sense of humor … and hopefully a good marriage, too.

Winks & Smiles,