Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wifey’s Weekly Q and A
I was recently laid off from my job and I’m stressed about finding a new one; and about money. My husband is more laid back than me and is not worried at all. The stress is messing with my sex drive, but my husband’s is in full swing. Do I have to do it every time he wants it, even if it’s the last thing on my mind? Don’t get me wrong, I love having sex with my husband, but while I’m focusing on trying to get my life together, I’m just not as into it. How can I slow him down without totally turning him off?
- Mrs. Slowed-down Sex Drive
Dear Mrs. Slowed-down Sex Drive:
You should slow him down very carefully. You might be going through a little slump right now, but you’re correct, you don’t want to turn him off totally. Although we often expect men to initiate sex, we don’t always take into consideration their feelings about rejection. Saying no too often can start to mess with even the strongest man’s sexual confidence and self-esteem –especially if there is no communication or they don’t understand why. Remember, men and women think differently. Your stress slows down your sex drive, but it doesn’t stop your husband’s in the slightest.
With that said, no, you do not have to have sex every time he wants to, but, you should be considerate about when and how you say no. Tell him how you feel so he doesn’t assume your lack of interest is something he’s doing wrong. You should also say yes sometimes, even when you might not feel like it – not only for him, but for you, too. You sound like you enjoy your sex life. Keeping it thriving might be a great way for you to release some of your anxiety. If you’re more relaxed you’ll be able to focus better on your job search. I’m willing to bet if you let yourself enjoy your husband’s advances more often than not, both you and your husband will be less stressed and glad that you did.
Winks & Smiles,
How about you? Does your sex drive slow down under stress? How do you handle your husband’s advances when you’re not in the mood? Stressed-out wives want to know …
The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.