Out of the Box Girl

Wifey’s Weekly Q and A

Dear Wifey:

My mother and I don't connect. I'm trying to explain to her the way I feel things or react to issues, but she doesn't seem to understand my feelings or views on these things. She often says I'm an "out of the box" kind of person. How can I approach her so that she can understand me better and we can go back to having a close relationship with each other?

-Out of the Box Girl

Dear Out of the Box Girl:

First, know that you are not alone. Many mothers and daughters don’t always see eye-to-eye which can lead to difficulty connecting. Feeling misunderstood can be frustrating and create distance in your relationship, but it doesn’t have to. Kudos to you for wanting to approach this correctly. How you speak to your mother can definitely affect the outcome of your conversation. It sounds like you’ve tried to explain yourself already. Were you patient and honest in your conversation? Not pointing figures at your mother, but using phrases like “this is how I feel” or “I do this because” instead of “you make me feel” or “you are the reason I do this” will help keep her from getting defensive.

Try and talk to your mother when you are not in the heat of the moment, both of you might be too excited to hear each other clearly. Take her to lunch and let her know how important she is to you and that you’d like her to consider your point of view. Be prepared with positive examples and know what message you’d like to convey. Once you’ve done that respect her right to disagree. Unfortunately, you cannot MAKE her see things your way – and that’s OK. Sometimes in life we have to take a big girl pill, agree to disagree and let things go – especially with our mamas. Hopefully, she’ll meet you in the middle, but unless your disagreement is a deal-breaker, understand that she’s just not understanding, love her anyway and let it go.

Winks & Smiles

How about you? Do you connect with your mother? How do you approach her? Darling daughters want to know …

The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.

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Back, Bonded, and Beginning Recovery

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey’s House

I’m back from my BlogHer or Bust Road Trip and am now on the road to recovery. I learned many things on this journey including I’m not as young as I used to be. Gasp! After traveling in one car with four women through three states in five days I’m completely and utterly exhausted.

We had an incredible experience together, one that has warmed my heart and made life-long friendships. I was struggling with what to post today until I read Jennifer’s (Baby Making Machine). After wiping my tears away, I decided that she so eloquently wrapped up the weekend, I could simply share her words with you. Click here to read The BlogRollers Goodbye: New Sisters.


We bonded. Maintaining relationships with girlfriends often gets put aside as we scurry through life focused on our husbands, our children and our careers. I’m so thankful for the wonderful reminder I received this weekend to cherish all my friendships with all my girls! Thanks Christie, Denene, and Jennifer for the good conversation, for sharing your wisdom, for the laughter and most importantly for your friendship.

Winks & Smiles,

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Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey's House

Well, technically I'm not in Wifey's House, I'm in Louisville, Kentucky with my BlogRolling partner, Christie from My Life ... A Work In Progress; the fabulous Denene Millner from My Brown Baby; and the winner of our Fourth Wheel Contest, Future Mama from Baby Makin(g) Machine. We piled in our Chevy Traverse, courtesy of GM and the BlogHer Carpool, and started our BlogHer or Bust road trip to BlogHer '09.

We've been chatting, laughing, eating, laughing, singing, laughing, debating, laughing ... well, I'm sure you get the point - we've been having tons of fun!

We're spending the night in Louisville and will head out to Chicago tomorrow to continue our journey to BlogHer '09. If you'd like to see what we're up we've been tweeting our antics like crazy. Follow us on Twitter:

@AskWifey, @ChatterBoxcgc, @MyBrownbaby, @BabyMakinMachin and @TheBlogRollers

Winks & Smiles,

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And That's How the Fight Started

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey’s House

A little mindless marriage humor

One of Husband’s male friends e-mailed this to him and in turn he forwarded it to me. Coincidentally, he sent it on a night that I was desperately trying to bite my tongue and not start a fight …

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED

One year a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year he didn't buy her a gift.When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started...

My wife walked into the den and asked "What’s on the TV?"I replied "Dust.”And that's how the fight started...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight's damn near perfect.”And that's how the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.” I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started...

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested, "the kitchen?”And that's how the fight started...

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then asked, “Is that your final answer?” She didn't even look at me this time, just simply said “Yes.”So I said, “Then I'd like to phone a friend.”And that's how the fight started...

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.” So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.”And that's how the fight started...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.” My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”And that's how the fight started...

I'm not sure who to credit these little gems to but they sure have a good sense of humor … and hopefully a good marriage, too.

Winks & Smiles,

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Road Trippin'

I haven’t posted much about BlogHer ’09 but with only one week left I just couldn’t help myself. I have two questions:

Are you Chicago Bound?
Next Wednesday me and my BlogRollin’ partner Christie from My Life … A Work in Progress; our special guest roller Denene Millner from MyBrownBaby; and the winner of our Fourth Wheel Contest, Future Mama from Baby Makin(g) Machine will hop in a Chevy (courtesy of General Motors and BlogHer) for our “BlogHer or Bust” Road Trip to the nation's largest blogging conference for women – BlogHer ’09.



We’ll be blogging, vlogging, twittering, live streaming and Facebooking our way from Georgia to Chicago and would love to meet you there. If you’re not attending the conference don’t worry; you can still keep up with our fun-filled adventures at TheBlogRollers.com.

Where Are All My Atlanta Folks?
On Tuesday, July 21, you are cordially invited to TheBlogRollers “BlogHer or Bust” Bon Voyage Party at our favorite meet up spot – Blue Moon Pizza. Come send us off in style. Enjoy friends, food, drinks and prizes. Try our signature “TheBlogRollers-tini” and some of the best pizza in the city. Can’t make it? No problem, you can still join in the fun because we will live stream the event on our USTREAM CHANNEL. Click here for our party Anyvite.

If you’re headed to Chicago, in the ATL or will be checking in online, let me know so I can look for you, too!

Winks & Smiles,

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The Party's Over

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey’s House

Husband turned 41 on Saturday and we celebrated his birthday all weekend long. While we’re not as young as we used to be – ahem, one of us is still in our thirties – we did a pretty good job partying throughout the weekend with family and friends.

Although the party may be over, I do my best to celebrate Husband all year long. Not only is he my favorite husband in the whole wide world, he’s a wonderful father, son, and friend; and I’m truly blessed to have him in my life.


Me and Husband at our tennis match on his birthday


Our most recent family pic

I hope you had a wonderful birthday, Husband! Love you so much!

Winks & Smiles,

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Talking "The Talk"

Wifey’s Weekly Q and A – Reversed

The other morning while I was getting my workout on, my 8 year-old son, Miles, popped his head in the room and curiously asked, “Mom, what’s masturbation?”

Gasp!

After nearly tripping on my jump rope, I picked my jaw up off of the floor and told him … the truth. An age appropriate version of the truth, but the truth none the less.

Sex is such a touchy subject – literally (I couldn’t resist) and is often avoided by parents (and kids) because talking about it can be uncomfortable and downright embarrassing. But dodging the issue won’t make it go away. Kids are going to learn about sex with or without you – and quite honestly, the playground education is 20 times more frightening to me than having to utter the word “vagina” to my giggly kids.

My question is:

How do you talk to your children about sex? Do you sit down and have “the talk;” use books; or wait for them to interrupt your workout session to ask you a question about their private area? Do you use nicknames or lay it all on the line?

OK, that's more than one question, but curious moms (and children) want to know …

Winks & Smiles,

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Why Wifey Needs a Wife: Reason #989

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey’s House

Yes, I could probably come up with more than 1000 reasons why I need a wife … and a chef, a housekeeper, a driver, a personal assistant, a laundry attendant, a nanny and a clone of myself since I do all these things and more. After looking at the long list of things I do daily, I decided if I had a wife (like me) I could possibly relax a little. Then I woke up … and started this list.

Here’s reason #989:

To Watch the Kids so I can Grocery Shop in Peace

Yes, Husband is normally helpful in this situation but he was at work and for some strange reason I waited until there was absolutely nothing in the house to eat to go grocery shopping so I was forced to brave the store with the kids – alone. Big mistake for my personal sanity. While I’d like to front that everything is always orderly at Wifey’s House, that’s just not the case. Yes, you might see me in the grocery store with well behaved kids, but that’s only after I’ve threatened, several times, to send them straight to bed when we get home if they don’t straighten up and act right. And, yes I do make good on most of my threats, ahem. Where do you think my kids are right now as I’m writing this?

If I had a wife I would ask her nicely to watch the kids for me so I could go to the grocery store in peace. Truthfully, I’d probably ask her to do the grocery shopping for me but that’s another reason (#763), and another post.

Winks & Smiles,

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Stay-at-Home or Working Mom

Wifey's Weekly Q and A

Dear Wifey:

My husband and I have been planning our family since we got engaged. We agree on everything except whether I will stay home with our children and for how long. He’s very supportive and says ultimately the decision is mine, but he would like me to stay home. I just don’t know if I am stay-at-home mom material. I have a lot of respect for stay-at-home moms, but I’m not ready to walk away from my career yet. We’ve been married nine months and are planning to get pregnant around our first anniversary. I feel like I should figure this out before we start trying to get pregnant. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

- Mrs. Stay-at-Home or Working Mom

Dear Mrs. Stay-at-Home or Working Mom:

Kudos to you both for being proactive and planning together one of the most important decisions of your marriage. It’s important to have conversations about children before you get married so that you both are on the same page – or are working toward it – and there are no surprises about how many kids you both would like and when you would like to have them. Planning is great and necessary, but you also need to understand that even the most well thought-out plans can change – especially when it comes to children.

Staying at home with your children or keeping your career in tact are both challenging and rewarding paths. You should make a tentative plan, but be open to the idea of changing your mind once your little bundle of joy is born. You might decide to stay home now, but find that you crave the working world after a year without the water cooler; or you might plan to return to your job three months after your baby is born but can’t bear to leave her once it’s time to go back. The truth is only you will know how you feel once you are actually in the situation. It’s wonderful that your husband is supportive and is not pressuring you into doing something that you’re not comfortable with doing. Talk to him and come up with Plan A and Plan B; then relax and enjoy the baby making!

Winks & Smiles,

How about you? When did you decide to work or stay home? Did you change your mind? Moms and moms-to-be want to know …

The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.

Read more...