I Don't Do Fish

Friday, November 13, 2009

A Sneak Peek Inside Wifey’s House
Friday’s Confession ...

Yesterday my 8-year-old son, Miles, and I were at home by ourselves when his beta fish, Ryan, decided he wanted to see what life was like OUTSIDE of his bowl. Right.

Truth be told, when I heard Miles’ panic-stricken scream, “Mama, Ryan jumped out his bowl!” my first thought was, Um, I don’t do fish.

Now don’t call PETA on me. I love animals. And, fish, too. I just don’t want to TOUCH them. But, when I saw the horror in Miles’ eyes, I instantly flipped into mommy mode.

“Pick him up and put him back in his bowl,” I yelled.

Logical, right?

Apparently, Miles doesn’t “do fish” either because he quickly told me no. “Ryan is a fighting fish! I can’t pick him up!”

Huh? I did my best to keep my composure and my laughter inside. Here’s a picture of Ryan.

Yes, he’s smaller than my thumb.

Miles, didn’t want to touch the fish either, and who was I to argue? So, I told him to go in Daddy’s office and get his fish net. My husband has fish, too. Miles’ eyes lit up. The net. Right. We were on it, except … we couldn’t find the net. In the meantime, while poor Ryan is NOT liking his harsh new reality, our golden retriever, Nina, was heading up the stairs.


“Don’t let Nina eat Ryan!” I blurted out.

I know, I could’ve found a better way to say that, ahem, but in the heat of the moment I was just trying to save the poor fish and not scar my child for life.

Miles quickly shooed Nina away, while I grabbed Husband’s fish tank brush and a bucket. I scooped Ryan into the bucket and swiftly dropped him back into his tank.


Miles and I looked at each other, frozen for about 5 seconds, then busted out laughing. What’s really funny is that if Husband or my 6 year-old daughter were there, they would’ve picked Ryan up with their hands and plopped him right back in the tank. No problem.

After that I was exhausted. Mind you all of this transpired over approximately 60 seconds. 60 seconds that felt like 60 minutes. And to make matters worse, don’t you know Miles had the nerve to ask me for a hamster for Christmas.


How about you? What do you do when fish jump out the bowl? Or rodents are running around your house? Zookeepers Moms everywhere want to know …

Winks & Smiles,
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QueenBee November 13, 2009 at 12:04 PM  

I just leave them all where they came from cause I don't do any of them.

ScrappinMichele November 13, 2009 at 3:01 PM  

LMAO! I can laugh cuz I have a great mouse story. (I don't do fish either BTW).

Last week I was going to get the mail, walked out through the garage and saw a mouse laying on the ground. I screamed and ran into the house. the kids all started yelling just because I was.

I called my hubby and he said, "is it dead?" I told him I didn't stick around long enough to find out. But he made me go back into the garage to check. I didn't see anything. I freaked again and ran back in the house with hubby still on the phone laughing at me. It must be alive.

My daughter's best friend went out there and saw it still laying there so now we knew it was dead. But what to do with it. Hubby tells me to get the broom and shove it outside. My response?

"I don't do mice."

Hubby says, "I'm not asking you to do him, just sweep him out into the yard."

He came home for lunch and took care of the mouse.

African American Mom November 13, 2009 at 3:27 PM  

I don't do fish either! We had some but were not very good care givers. My son has the nerve to ask me for a dog! I say to him "What happened to your fish?" Dead silence usually follows. Hmmm hmp! However, I would pet and love on a dog any day over a fish.

La'Tonya Richardson November 13, 2009 at 3:36 PM  

This brought back a terrible memory!

Growing up, we always had fish, and during one of our routine tank cleanings, one jumped out of the small bowl it was hanging out in. That fish flipped and flopped, driving me into a corner. I was screaming, hollering and jumping around like that fish. Finally my mother put the fish back in the bowl.

We've had fish at our house, and my son and husband are the fish get'er out'ers, and picker uppers!

Joyce E. Davis November 13, 2009 at 4:39 PM  

That was hilarious! Growing up my brother had 2 turtles, Abracadaba & Hocus Pocus, who were captured from the wilds of our suburban neighborhood. But I was an outdoorsy kid- picking up granddaddy long legs & catching lightening bugs in bottles, so I probably would have picked up Ryan. Funny, the only pets we had as kids were those turtles, & I had a cat for 6 years in my 20s (& we had a mutual dislike of each other-a whole other story). But I love hearing about your adventures. Press on Pet Mommy!

MOMSWEB November 13, 2009 at 4:46 PM  

Girrrrl, I'm a SCARY mama! I guess mommy mode would have to step in or we'd just have a dead fish.

Wifey, I busted out laughing when you said..."But, when I saw the horror in Miles’ eyes, I instantly flipped into mommy mode.
“Pick him up and put him back in his bowl,” I yelled.

Uh...Wifey, wouldn't mommy mode have YOU pick up the fish? LMAO!

Army Wife 101 November 14, 2009 at 7:55 AM  

Wifey I am gonna plead the 5th on what happened to our little fish. Let's just say never keep the fish bowl anywhere near the sink or garbage disposal for that matter LOL!

Mammatalk November 15, 2009 at 12:20 AM  

A broom and dustpan? I dunno!!

Anonymous,  November 16, 2009 at 3:36 AM  

Hahaha! It's times like this when I wish that my landlord allowed pets! Hope Ryan is well!

Justice Fergie November 16, 2009 at 1:20 PM  

THAT was hilarious!

And I love that you call Ryan your "beta" fish.

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