Need a New ‘Do

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dear Wifey:

I’m thinking about changing my look and cutting my hair. It’s been the same length – down the middle of my back – since I finished college about eight years ago. I want a new look, but when I told my husband I was thinking about cutting it all off; I could tell he was less than enthused. He told me to do whatever I want, but made it clear that he likes it long. I’m not sure what I should do. It sounds so old fashioned, but should I do what he wants?

- Mrs. Need a New ‘Do

Dear Mrs. Need a New ‘Do:

It’s not old fashioned to want to please your man and take his thoughts into consideration – it’s smart. After all, he’s the one that looks at you the most. It is old fashioned for him to demand that you keep your hair long as if you don’t have the right to choose. Fortunately, he didn’t do that and he said all the right things.

You should do what you want to do, it’s your hair and you need to feel good about your own personal appearance. It was also smart for him to let you know how he likes to see you. Reverse the rolls for a minute. What if your husband has never had a beard; then one day decided to become Grizzly Adams and let it grow to the floor? Sounds drastic right? Maybe, but it’s not much different than going from long flowing hair down your back to a short spiky ‘do.

So, what should you do? Go for a new look, but keep your husband in mind. If you know that he can’t stand really short hair, don’t get a buzz cut, try a sophisticated shoulder length bob. Be true to your wants, needs and desires, but be careful not to turn off your husband in the process.

Winks & Smiles,

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Do you do your ‘do the way your husband likes it? Don’t be shy; stylish wives want to know …

The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.


Shanny April 1, 2009 at 11:27 AM  

Wifey knows her "stuff" yo! Go wifey!
I totally agree with everything you said. "Mrs. Need a new Do" is lucky her husband didn't "demand" it of her and I think the shoulder bob is a good compromise... as long as she likes that Do of course.

I actually do my "Do" the way my husband likes it... but only because I like it too =)

Fergie April 1, 2009 at 12:34 PM  

Great Advice! I do take my husbands thoughts into consideration when selecting my "Do." I agree with Wifey don't go for the buzz cut, maybe meet him in the middle with a bob!

Anonymous,  April 1, 2009 at 1:25 PM  

This is why I subscribe to this blog, practical, fun, loving and honest advice. My husband likes versatility. He's happy as long as I'm happy. In fact in 10 years, the only objection I received is when I wanted to try out wigs. "No baby," he says gently, "I like your hair."


Felicia - I complete Me April 1, 2009 at 2:56 PM  

Great advice! I am looking for a new do as well as I re - create myself. I did ask my husband his opinion, but frankly it's my hair and I can do what I want. If I cut it short it can always grow back or I'll wear a wig (lol). My hair is about me and no one else. I do understand taking his thoughts into consideration, but it's about me and what I need. He'll like either way. The different look may make him fall in love again. I do agree with wifey not to go for a buzz cut right away if he hates short hair.

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) April 1, 2009 at 5:01 PM  

Sage. Very sage.

I don't really take my husband's thoughts into consideration when getting a new "do" cause he usually tells me after it's cut!!!

Mozi Esme April 1, 2009 at 5:10 PM  

I'd say she's lucky her husband cares enough to let her know what he likes, especially ahead of time. And it's great that he likes it the way she's had it. She should definitely keep him in mind. In my book, his opinion is more important than anyone else's, as long as she's comfortable with it and feels it suits her personality.

I agree with you - consider a compromise - shoulder length, etc. If he doesn't like it, she can always grow it again. And there are lots of "new" looks you can get while keeping hair the same length, just by how you style it, especially longer hair. Or maybe layer it, etc, so it looks styled but is still fairly long.

ruth April 1, 2009 at 5:54 PM  

I had a traumatic experience last year...where I cut off 8 inches of beautiful locks I thought I would never care about (and the Mr warned me I would hate it)... needless to say, he was right. I loved the new bob for about a week and have hated it the last 8 months. I know it sounds really dumb, but I felt like I lost a part of my femininity when I cut my hair. Now I am desperately trying to grow it back :( long hair rocks!

Unknown April 1, 2009 at 6:06 PM  

Great comments, ladies! I love the input. Hair can be tricky sometimes! :)

Mocha Dad April 2, 2009 at 9:03 AM  

I like my wife's hair short. She likes versatility. So she grows it out and cuts it off at regular intervals in order to please both of us.

MOMSWEB April 2, 2009 at 9:05 AM  

Last year, I cut ALL MY HAIR OFF. Yes, my sons have more hair than I have. Did hubby like it at first? I don't think so, but he told me it wasn't my hair he was married to. To make sure he didn't forget his statement, I made HUBBY cut my hair the first time. Yep, he got out the clippers and did the honors. I've been a slick head, sexy mama since (lol). He really likes it alot now; I guess it had to grow on him.

Banteringblonde April 2, 2009 at 10:29 AM  

My hubby would love me to have long hair but I've had it relatively short for years... I'm growing it out ;)

Tamara,  April 2, 2009 at 11:35 AM  

Sometimes it's just the change in general that scares men whether it's drastic or not. Either way you should do what makes you happy, I'm sure he'll learn/grow to like it.

Jenni April 2, 2009 at 8:24 PM  

I don't listen. :-X I am a bossy pain in the ass though so I can't really give anyone any advice.

MrsM April 3, 2009 at 4:05 AM  

I always have very long hair, but I go back and forth about curly and straight. When I ask my husband about it he just shrugs and says "Wear it how YOU like it" and "I don't know anything about girl hair" or "It looks great now".

He's no help. LoL.

The Rambler April 4, 2009 at 1:11 AM  

I have curly hair and it wasn't my best friend growing up, with a bunch of straight hair girls. I wanted to be like them all the time.

So now, I wear it straight. My husband prefers the curly but knows how much I prefer it this way. Whatever you want, Rambler :)

Sweet love.

Lisa B.,  April 22, 2009 at 2:01 PM  

When I met my husband my hair was past my waist. Right before we got married I got it cut to just below my shoulders. Every time I get it cut it gets a little bit shorter. Now it is above my shoulders. My husband doesn't really like it short,but he gets used to it. I have 2 kids and it is just easier to keep it short. He hopefully fell in love with me and not my hair!

Anonymous,  December 11, 2009 at 5:49 PM  

Seems to be the stoey of our marriage, back and forth on my look. Ultimately I want to please my husband. But, I have noticed when it comes down to it...He is pleased as long as I am and show it. So if a new do makes me feel better (short or long), then he is alright with that.

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