Married to a Big Spender

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Dear Wifey:

My husband and I just found out we’re getting back a $7,000 tax return. I think we should spend most of it paying off our credit card debt, but he has visions of a flat screen TV, some other electronic gadgets and a trip to Las Vegas. I hate to see all that money wasted when it could clear up the majority of our debt and put us down a positive road to financial stability. How do I make him see things my way?

-Mrs. Married to a Big Spender

Dear Mrs. Married to a Big Spender:

Kudos to you for being financially responsible and trying to wipeout most of your debt – especially in these tough economic times – but it sounds like you and your husband are on two totally different pages when it comes to money. Unfortunately you can’t make him see things your way, but you can share with him what you would like to do and why.

Don’t preach to him, talk down to him or make him feel foolish — even if he is. It will only make him defensive. Put together a brief plan of what you would like to do with the money and how it will benefit both of you now and in the future. You might want to include in the plan that flat screen TV or one of the things he wants so that he gets an immediate reward (in addition to knocking out his debt) then he may be more inclined to work with you.

I also suggest having additional conversations to set up a financial plan complete with short and long term goals. Understand that some compromising will be necessary to reach financially harmony in your house, but you will be much happier when you both are reading from the same page.

Winks & Smiles,

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The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.


Unknown April 8, 2009 at 9:50 AM  

I can really feel sorry for this woman. I'm married to a big spender too. Every time we try to set up a plan he sabotages it. My suggestion is to tuck away a small amount of cash each safe spot in the house...that he can't touch!
If he truly is a big may have to compromise. He can have half and you have half to do with what you want. He'll have to settle on a flat screen in a budget.'ll probably get the flat screen anyway because if he's like my husband he'll just go charge it.

Mammatalk April 8, 2009 at 5:54 PM  

Thank you so much for the lovely wine stopper. It arrived on Monday, my birthday! What a treat!

The Blonde Duck April 9, 2009 at 1:16 PM  

Popped in from SITS to say hi!

Felicia - I complete Me April 9, 2009 at 1:30 PM  

This is a great post! I too am married to someone that just loves to spend. He never wanted to hear what I had to say because his way was right. Well needless to say we accumulated more debt and he became frustrated. I would not suggest that route for anyone. I was just tired of arguing. But now he understands where I have been coming from. Especially when we were able to make and expensive purchase and all our bills were paid. He really liked that.

I am Harriet April 9, 2009 at 4:36 PM  

Sometimes it's just part of the gender...
Stopping by from SITS to say hello!
Have a great day!

Unknown April 9, 2009 at 6:45 PM  

Great input, Ladies! And you're welcome, Mamma Talk - happy birthday.

kamagra May 5, 2011 at 10:21 AM  

control a big spender husband is very difficult.. if you are a spender too Wifey? I don't know what to do! seriously.

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