Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Wifey's Weekly Q and A
My husband wants us to go visit his mom for Mother’s Day weekend. My mother lives in the same city that we do and we always spend Mother’s Day with her. I know she’s going to be upset if we go away and my husband is going to be upset if we don’t. Either way I lose. What should I do?
- Mrs. Mad Mom or Angry Husband
Dear Mrs. Mad Mom or Angry Husband:
I know she’s your mother — the woman who gave birth to you, cared for you and raised you to be the wonderful person that you are — BUT, you might want to consider going with your husband this time. It’s important to remember and respect that he has a mother who did all of those things for him, too. Since you’ve spent every previous Mother’s Day with your mother and she lives in the same area that you do, I think that it’s a reasonable request for your husband to want his wife to travel with him to visit his family for a change.
Dividing your time and attention between two families can be challenging but necessary if circumstances do not allow for everyone to be together during special days. Explain this to your mother gently, but don’t be apologetic — you are not doing anything wrong! Plan something special for the two of you to do before you leave so she doesn’t feel like an after thought. Making a schedule for future Mother’s Days (and other holidays, too) may relieve some of the stress. If you have a plan and everyone is aware of it ahead of time it can help alleviate the pressure.
Winks & Smiles,
Would you stay or would you go? How do you handle holidays between families? Daughters everywhere want to know …
The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.