Suffocated with Stuff

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wifey's Weekly Q and A

Dear Wifey:

My mother-in-law keeps buying me stuff for my house. She brings over little things that I don’t need and quite frankly, that I don’t like. I want to tell her to stop but I don’t want to be rude. What should I do?

- Mrs. Suffocated with Stuff

Dear Mrs. Suffocated with Stuff:

Don’t tell her to stop. If you do it will probably come across mean and could put a strain on your relationship. Moms and mother-in-laws buy “stuff” for their kids. That’s just something that many of them like to do. Say thank you and accept her gifts gracefully.

If she lives out of town you should keep everything that she buys you stored together then when she comes to visit you can place some of it out around your house. If she lives in town you are not obligated to use everything that she bought for you – especially if you don’t like it – but finding one or two things that work in your home would be a thoughtful gesture.

Winks & Smiles,

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How about you? Does your mother or mother-in-law constantly give you stuff? Is it fab or drab? And what do you do with it? Wives everywhere want to know ...

The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.


Kathy B! September 24, 2009 at 9:10 AM  

My MIL does the same thing. This is great advice. I never thought of packing it away and then bringing it out just in time for her arrival...

QueenBee September 24, 2009 at 10:59 AM  

Maybe she feels that you actually want the stuff. Some people show their love by buying what they think you would like. I agree with just putting it away until she comes and then back in the closet it goes.

Felicia - I complete Me September 24, 2009 at 1:03 PM  

I'm so glad my MIL doesn't do this. I mean she does give me stuff but it's most likely something I need. This is great advice.

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) September 24, 2009 at 5:19 PM  

Everytime I visit my MIL, she gives me her cast-offs that she doesn't want to throw away. I take them, and throw them away at my house.

Funkidivagirl September 24, 2009 at 9:03 PM  

My parents and MIL always give me food when I leave their houses (they live about 30 minutes away). I don't need food, but it is funny to me. I take it graciously; what else could I do?

Anonymous,  September 28, 2009 at 1:33 AM  

My MIL sends me her old clothes that don't fit her anymore. "Since you're so skinny (not) I thought of you and didn't want to throw these clothes out." Mind you she has 3 daughters of her own my age and around my size. The patterns are a bit outdated but I still have a box of old clothes sitting around for when she comes to visit and I make a special dinner AT HOME that I will wear it for. ;o)

My best, Lynn

Untypically Jia September 28, 2009 at 8:15 AM  

My MIL does this but I'm blessed because she has a terrible memory. She's the best regifter in the world. She also forgets when I buy her things. Once I bought her the whole series of Firefly on DVD and like a year later she asked me if she could borrow it cause she thought it was mine.

There's a gorgeous new frame (bought six months ago) that I'm determined to convince her was originally mine.

Anonymous,  September 29, 2009 at 1:04 AM  

My MIL did this while I was pregnant! She's one of those people who have nothing better to do on the weekends and to my (mis)fortune I was pregnant around the peak yard sale season. She was constantly stopping by to drop off baby clothes, toys, or books that she'd buy. I know she was trying to be thoughtful but since it was my first child I really didn't want to give her secondhand things. I would go through it all in private and decide what seemed worth keeping. Mind you, I was carrying a little girl, and another thing she did was clean out my -husband's- baby toys and clothes and insisted on giving them to me for our daughter. They're now sitting in a box in the garage somewhere... =/

carrie September 30, 2009 at 3:02 AM  

My MIL told gives me a headache! She told me when I was in labor with my 2nd child that I sounded like "Free Willy" while I was breathing (while pushing a 9.8 baby out of my you know where)!

Jen @ After The Alter October 2, 2009 at 2:20 PM  

My MIL does the same thing..and most of the time its on the cheapy cheesy end...she lives in town so I can't bring it out like twice a I pick and choose what goes out. If soemone buys you some sort of decoration, then they have to accept they are taking the risk and you might not like it:)

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