Too Few Cooks in the Kitchen

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Wifey’s Weekly Q and A – Reversed

Instead of my regular weekly Q and A where someone asks a question and I answer it; this week I’m flipping things around and I’m doing the asking. Isn’t that the beauty of blogging? It’s flexible, spontaneous and interactive.

With that said, here’s my question:

What do you do when there are too few cooks in the kitchen? When neither you nor your husband want to take on the culinary duties in your household. Do you suck it up and do it anyway because cooking is traditionally the woman’s responsibility – gasp; or do you take off your apron and lay down your spatula in protest; or is there a happy medium that needs to be negotiated to keep peace and harmony in your home?

You can only live on takeout for so long, right?

OK, that’s more like three questions, but who’s counting? Can’t wait to hear your answers. Undomesticated divas want to know …

Wink s & Smiles,

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Anonymous,  June 10, 2009 at 9:25 AM  

Outsource!!! There are so many options these days. I pick up the Family Value meals from Whole Foods. What really worked for me when I was working was Dinner A'Fare. I would go in and make all the meals I would need for the entire month in two hours. Then either hubby or I could defrost and prepare the meals when it was time to eat. Once or twice, hubby even came with me to do the meal prep. It was fun! Now there are even more options.....My Girlfriend's Kitchen, Cena, Super Suppers....

Eyeglasses & Endzones June 10, 2009 at 11:02 AM  

Yeah our house is totally a sandwich family. If we can't decide or if it is baseball season then we hit a drive thru if we have to.

So boring and uneventful. ;)

Anonymous,  June 10, 2009 at 11:23 AM  

I do most of the cooking and on Sunday my Husband and kids cook. But when we don't feel like it, we order out.

Anonymous,  June 10, 2009 at 12:51 PM  

I think it's something in the male DNA or maybe we
wives made it that way . Men see : YOU cook for me as YOU love me. It's what they saw their dads& moms
do . Or maybe they just like to eat.
Great options given. But the CO$T !!

Felicia - I complete Me June 10, 2009 at 1:04 PM  

I am an undomesticated diva. My husband loves to cook. We did make a rule that he would do the cooking and he gave specific days he would cook and not cook. But do to the increase in business it has been hard for him to keep up. I do come when I get home and cook when I feel like it. We do buy items that can be warmed up so our 13 year old can have food when he's hungry or we don't want to cook. My only concern is our 10 month old. So I may whip up a little something just for him. I think this is something that you have to discuss with your husband and also take into consideration your lifestyle. If hubby doesn't mind cooking do expect him to get tired of it on some days and don't hold it against him as he should do with you, or maybe you guys are okay with eating out for most nights, or buying already prepared meals. Whatever it is, it has to be a decision that you make as a couple and be ready to change it as your life changes together.

Mommy of Many June 10, 2009 at 1:53 PM  

Traditional values would make food preparation your responsibility, but being responsible for something doesn't mean you're the one who has to do the work. You just need to make sure the work is done. Maybe rotate days. I also agree with the first comment. There are so many options for picking up meals that are prepared without being pre-packaged. I think you guys should talk and come to a happy medium. I most certainly don't think this a throw down your spatula issue. Save that for more intense discussions.

Unknown June 10, 2009 at 2:09 PM  

Great comments so far! Love the honesty and input!

Unknown June 10, 2009 at 4:58 PM  

Oh boy that is a toughie. Generally we eat out when those times come. Otherwise, we won't eat. Hubby doesn't cook unless he makes a special trip to the store for a special occasion and buys every single ingredient he needs. He really is a guy's guy. So when I don't feel like cooking, we eat out.

MsTypo June 10, 2009 at 5:24 PM  

I'm lucky that i married a man who not only loves to cook but is better at it than most women. My father is a great cook. And so are my brothers. This "traditional role" stuff is nonsense! I'm not saying that 50/50 is a reasonable expectation but i'd def say that its up to both parties.

What hubby and i do is that he's a Monday through Thursday kinda cook. He enjoys coming home from work and destressing through chopping. Friday's are for going out. And i'm the weekend EXTRAVAGANZA cook. I prepare huge special dinners.

We split off from time to time but by and large it's a system that works.

Anonymous,  June 10, 2009 at 7:38 PM  

It's a real 50/50 split right now for us because I am working more and he's home more. He loves to see something on TV and then try and reconstruct it at home. Frugal bugle! He cooks really well things (okay he just left the room now I can be honest - sometimes he forgets and burns things and I want to cry but I give him an A for effort! I could have it MUCH worse. I could be barefoot and pregnant cooking every day for the rest of my life - which when I was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen it felt like that!)...that we both like and I love him forever for it... ;o)

My best, Lynn

Jewelry Rockstar June 10, 2009 at 9:22 PM  

I ask my twelve year old to save us. By whipping up one of the quick to prepare meals we buy just for her to put together.

hicksgirl93 June 10, 2009 at 10:52 PM  

My husband and I will take turns cooking. We don't have a set day for cooking, but if I communicate with him early enough he will make a simple meal for the family. Since I do the majority of cooking we have an agreement that he will have "kitchen clean up" duty twice a week (my saving grace). In the past I have used one day a week to prepare meals and then freeze them. That worked out well for us too. And when all else fails... we make a run out to little Ceasars for the "hot and ready" $5 pizza!

mrs.notouching June 10, 2009 at 11:28 PM  

I hate cooking with the passion. My husband was raised to believe it is a woman's job to cook... We've been together for 10 years and this is the only argument that we keep recycling over and over again. I was going to bake my first cake last weekend but then could not find another space for all our photo albums... How early can I sign up my child for some sort of cooking classes?

Banteringblonde June 11, 2009 at 2:27 AM  

i'm not big on cooking .. i go through phases. Problem is if I don't cook DH will and THAT is not good, at all! We eat out entirely too much but I am tyring to do better!

MOMSWEB June 11, 2009 at 8:32 AM  

I'm with mrs.notouching - I hate to cook with a burning passion. Every now and then I'll get a wild hair and actually want to cook, nevertheless, I do the cooking in the house. Hubby isn't trying to go there. The boys can go for themselves if I don't cook (weekends), and thank God for second born who enjoys cooking and will rescue his hate to cook Mama.

Kathy B! June 11, 2009 at 1:12 PM  

We call it DOYO (Dinner On Your Own) and it means every man woman an child for themselves. Whatever you can make for yourself you eat... Works pretty well!!

Jennifer June 11, 2009 at 11:06 PM  

...We eat cereal. But for real, we share the cooking duties. There are things he cooks and things I cook. And since he's home more right now I expect a hot dinner on the stove when I get home.

LeNesha June 14, 2009 at 11:33 PM  

Cooking is too time consuming for my liking and my hubby hates cooking, so on days that I choose not to cook (which is quite often), he'll make those all inclusize frozen veggie meals in a bag, will go pick up to-go grub, or darling daughter will pick up the reigns. Definitely disagree with the idea that cooking is the women's job. Cooking responsibilities really need to be worked out between both parties based on what works for the family.

Nancy Sanabria,  June 15, 2009 at 10:29 AM  

I wish, wish, wish my husband could cook something other than lasagna! I like to cook but I work full time and hate spending my whole evening cooking. Really it's exhausting to just think about what to cook. I like "resplendentlife"s" idea. Dinner A'fare. I just did it once but I thought it was great. Wifey, see if you can get a free party there!

Sandra Winn June 18, 2009 at 10:03 AM  

It depends on the day! My husband cooks quite often, but when he's had a long day at work or I've had a long day at home--the responsibility typically falls on my shoulders.

Take the other night for example: I'm working my butt off on a project set to go public on Monday that seeks to help other moms battling the bulge. My sleep schedule has been crazy because my brain doesn't shut off. All day my children, though they were soooo good, got on my nerves with, "Mom did you know?", "Mom could you come here a second?", "Hey Mom, wanna go swimmin'?" I'm sure you know what I mean.

Anyway, I was in a mood and then dh arrived home, saw me busting my butt on the computer and asks, "What's for dinner?" He he never asks after work like that unless he's queue to head to the kitchen. :-)

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