Frustrated Friend
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wifey's Weekly Q and A
Dear Wifey:
I am a young mom, and I am the only one of my friends that has a family. I have one friend in particular who is a young, single professional that is always talking about staying home and having kids like it's a prison sentence. Once she even said that she felt sorry for me because I'm "tied down to a husband and children at such a young age." I don't feel tied down at all – I happen to love the idea of having babies young because when I'm in my 40s I'll be vacationing with my husband and spoiling my grandchildren while she (my friend) changes diapers! Plus I love my husband, and our kids, and I couldn't imagine anything I'd rather be doing right now than being a stay at home wife and mom.
I've tried to tell her how I feel, but she is skeptical and thinks I "have to say that" to justify my choices. She's a really good, really old friend, but it's really starting to grate on me that she can't just be happy that I'm happy and support me the way I support her with her career. What do I do?
- Mrs. Frustrated Friend
Dear Mrs. Frustrated Friend:
Stop having that conversation with your friend. You don’t have to justify your decisions about your family life to anyone – including your friends. Career or family? Work or stay home? Those are touchy topics that having been driving wedges between women for decades – don’t let that happen that to you.
It sounds like you really care for your friend. Remember that people aren’t perfect and friends have flaws, too. You’ve both voiced your opinions and have opposing thoughts on the topic; that happens and it’s OK as long as you both remain respectful. It’s time to agree to disagree and leave it alone so that it doesn’t ruin your friendship. Next time the topic comes up simply let her know that you love the decisions you’ve made, you love her, and you’d love to change the subject.
Winks & Smiles,
How about you? Do you have a touchy topic and a friend you disagree with? How do you handle it? Girlfriends everywhere want to know …
The advice on this site is intended to be helpful, but is not meant to take the place of marital counseling, legal advice, financial advice or any other professional service. If you feel you need professional help, it is encouraged for you to get some.
